羽之助の帝紀

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

バカな客(第二話)

Okay, Chris asked for more stories of stupid customers. Well, here's one from Sunday.

A family of three came in and, after looking carefully at the sign that says "Please Wait To Be Seated", proceeded to saunter into the dining area. Since Lisa is making noodles and Yuuko is preparing tour stuff in the back, I had to run up and greet them. それをするのがいつも嫌いだ。

Me: "Hi, are you looking for a 鉄板 table or more traditional dining? We also have a sushi bar ..."
父: "Sushi."

So I lead them to the sushi bar. They follow, look down, and say "We want a table. We'll sit over there," motioning to the closed section where nobody is. I bury my desire to cleave their necks with the menu and lead them back to the dining section and seat them.

Now, they were stupid. Well, no, to be fair, it was only the mom who was dumb, but the thing that compounds it is the fact that I'm the only Japanese-speaker on the wait staff right now. So when the mom begins to ask her questions, I notice that the Japanese couple are confusedly looking at the menu and attempting to understand May (the other waitress, English/Thai speaker, very good at her job), the five Japanese guests are waving their tea cups around in an attempt to attract my attention, and I have to deal with:

母:"Yakitori ... skewered chicken with teriyaki sauce. What is this?"
僕:"It's skewered chicken with teriyaki sauce on it."
母:"I see. Ika mushi ... steamed garlic squid. What is this?"
僕:"It's squid that's steamed, with garlic."
母:"I see. Una-kyu maki ... eel/cucumber roll. What's in this?"
僕:"Eel and cucumber."
母:"I see ..."

AND ON AND ON AND ON READING THE DAMN EXPLANATION AND THEN ASKING ME WHAT THE FOOD IS COMPOSED OF WHILE OTHER CUSTOMERS ARE WAITING FOR SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS FRIKKIN' JAPANESE TO HELP THEM!

And the kid upended all the toothpicks and broke them into tiny pieces during the course of the meal as well.