Christmas in Japan 日本でクリスマス

I came back to Ichinoseki in the early morning of the 24th, and after dicking on the internet for a while, showered and took a nap. I also got a phone call from home, which was great. On Sunday I was bored. Everyone was either in their hometowns or home countries. I went down to Paper Moon, and stayed at the bar until around 11, and since I was working the next morning and had to bike home in the sleet, I didn't order any alcohol. Not that it mattered. I got free German red wine (sweet!), free cake and fried chicken (which I hate eating but I did it anyway for politeness' sake).
２４日の早い朝に一関に戻った、そしてネットで遊んでからシャワーを浴びて寝た。 あ、カナダに居る家族から電話を掛けたからちょっと嬉しかった。日曜日は 退屈。皆が故郷か自国へ戻ってしまった・・・ペーパームーンというバーに行って１１時ぐらい店員に話し込んだ。もっと遅く居たかったけど半分雨半分雪が 降っていたし次の朝は働いていた。酒を頼まなかったけど関係なかったね・・・無料で美味しいドイツの赤ワインとケーキと揚げ鶏肉（食べるのが嫌いけどしな いと失礼だから食べた）。

Then something weird happened. The bartender showed me a picture of her wearing a jinbei. I said she looked cute and suggested we have a day in the summer where we all wear yukata/jinbei/whatever. She laughed and said she hates wearing traditional Japanese stuff because only old people do that.
それから変な事が起こった。バーの職員さんが彼女はじんべいを着ている写真を見せてくれた。「可愛い」っていって夏でいつか浴衣・じんべい会をしようと提議した。彼女が笑って老人ばかりが和服を着るっていった。

Think carefully about this. What kind of culture throws away its own clothing as 'outdated'? Not Western, that's for sure. There's no difference between a suit and a kimono. The suit is the traditional Western dress. Yeah, it's changed over time, but it's still a a suit. But Japan has thrown away its traditional dress, yet another unique aspect of Japanese culture tossed in the rubbish heap ... I hear that younger people are starting to buy kimonos and Japanese stuff again, with innovative new designs that appeal to young buyers. I hope so.
よく考えてく ださい。どんな文化が自分の服は「もう廃れる」と思っているの？確かに西洋の文化じゃないよ。別に着物とスーツと違いはない。スーツは西洋国 の伝統的な服だ。もちろん時代的に変わったけど基本的にまだスーツだ。但し日本が伝統的な和服を捨てた。ゴミ箱に落とされたもう一つの日本の文化の特殊な 物の例だね。でも、最近若者が着物や和風な物を買っていると聞いた。新しい模様は若者に気に入れたかな。そうならいいね。

On the 26th I went to the office and drank as much tea as possible to stay awake. At six PM there was a staff party for someone who is getting married, and since the food was going to be 'traditional Japanese', I went to McDonalds beforehand. Good thing too, because except for all the yellowtail sashimi there was nothing there I could eat. Dad would have gone nuts with the crab and lobster and oysters and whatnot.
２６日 は事務所に行って寝ないようにお茶を一杯一杯飲んだ。６時に結婚する職員の為に忘年会が有ったし、料理は「伝統な日本料理」だったから先にマックに 行った。よかった・・・はまち刺身以外は朕が食べられる物は全然なかった。カニや大海老やカキは盛り合わせだったのでお父さんが発狂して食べるけどさ。

As we spilled out into the street, the girls wanted to go to karaoke for the after party, while the men wanted to go to a hostess bar, which they ended up doing, obviously. I didn't go because I was already dead tired, and didn't feel like spending a hundred dollars to chat up a girl in a short dress. I did, however, notice that there was a 'salon' across the road, with an entry fee of 12 0000 yen. Probably an hourly fee. A salon is a place where you get a (usually) unclothed girl pour drinks for you while you chat her up, followed by a Hunnicutt. I didn't think Ichinoseki was big enough to have one.
忘年会が終わって道路に出ると、女性達が二次会でカラオケに行きたかったけど、男性達がスナックni
行 きたかった。もちろん皆が結局スナックに入った。もう疲れたし短いスカートの女性と話す為に一万円を払いたくなかったので帰った。でも、路の向う側に一 万二千円入金のサロンが在ると見た。多分一時間だけかな。知らなかったら、サロンは（大体）会話をしながら自分の酒は裸婦に注がれる、そしてそれから尺八 をもらう。サロンが在る為に一関は十分大きくないと思っていた。

The next day at work most of the staff looked like hell. And then, the opportunity arose for me to use my Perfect Comeback. The one I had been waiting for ...
Staff A: S, are you going back to America (for New Year's)?
Staff B (in embarrassed whisper): S is from England.
Staff A: Huh?
Me (to Staff A): Are you heading home to China for New Year's?
Staff A: Whaaa!?! You think I'm Chinese? (pointing to self incredulously).
Me: You're Asian, aren't you? So you're probably heading home to China.
And so another point is rammed home. namely that all white people are not from the U.S. of A.
次の日は職員達の顔は全員地獄に落ちたそうだった。皆は本当に死にそうだった。そして・・・そして朕の「完全復帰」を使う機会が来た。朕が随分待っていた機会・・・
職員Ａさん：Sさんは（お正月の為に）アメリカに帰る？
職員Ｂさん（恥ずかしい小声で）：イギリス人です。
職員Ａさん：えっ？
朕（職員Ａさんに）：お正月は中国の出身に帰る？
職員Ａさん：えええ！私は中国人だと思っている？？？（自分を指しながら）
朕：あなたはアジア人でしょう？だから多分中国に帰る。
白人は全員アメリカ人じゃない主義を成功に教え込んだ。

On a completely different topic, I completely cleaned my apartment. Furniture has been rearranged and and tatami has been duly vacuumed. I've also gotten a hankering recently for mapo doufu. Canadian beef may be for sale again but it's yet to reach Iwate ...
別の話題でアパートを全部掃除した。家具を別な所に移動して畳はよく掃除機された。最近は麻婆豆腐を食べたい・・・カナダの牛肉が輸入許可をもらったけどまだ岩手県に届いてない・・・

Oh yeah, and I cancelled NHK. I was paying 2500 a month in regular fees and then another 2500 for satellite. Now, I hardly ever watched TV, but I didn't mind paying the viewer fee because it really wasn't that much. But then NHK sent a man to inform me that I was not paying the satellite fee. I think NHK is boring as hell, as it seems to consist of shows about mushrooms, old men, old men and mushrooms, what happens to mushrooms without the care of old men, etc etc. But NHK's BS-1 satellite service is utter crap. Yes, compared to regular NHK. I shoved my TV in my closet (it's not really mine, it belongs to the apartment) to see if I could do without it. It's been about two months and I haven't missed TV one bit. So I checked to see if I could cancel online. Turns out I can't (I had to call and a very nice woman helped me cancel it), but here's an interesting blurb on their English site.
あ、 そしてＮＨＫを無効した。普通の受信料で一ヶ月ずつ２５００円ぐらい払っていて衛星放送でまた２５００円ぐらいを払っていた。朕があまりテレビを見な いけど、そんなに高くなかったから別に受信料は払っていいと思っていた。しかし、衛星受信料を払ってないって教える為にＮＨＫが朕のアパートまで職員を行 かせた。ＮＨＫは全くつまらないと思う。番組の全部はきのこ、おじいさん、きのことおじいさん、おじいさんが居ないときのこはどうになるについてばかり見 たい。でもＢＳ－１衛星放送は百割糞だと思う。はい、それは普通のＮＨＫと比べると。見なくて生きられると確認する為にテレビを戸棚に入れた（売りたいけ ど自分よりアパートのテレビだ・・・）。もう二ヶ月ぐらい掛かったし全然テレビの事に寂しくない。ネット上で無効するかどうかと調べた。実は出来ない（電 話しなくちゃ；優しいお姉さんのお陰で無効した）けど、受信料の説明頁で面白い事を読んだ。

"The receiving fees allow NHK to secure financial independence and extend fair and impartial news coverage and present high-quality programs that are socially significant, without being influenced by ratings or government or private organizations."
「 公平・公正な立場で放送の自主性を保ちながら、テレビやラジオの放送を通じて国民の生命・財産を守り、公共の福祉、文化の向上に貢献することが、ＮＨＫの 基本的使命です。ＮＨＫがその使命を果たすためには、政府や企業などの特定のスポンサーに頼ることのない「財政の自立」が必要です。」

Yeah f*cking right. Author Alex Kerr quoted a Far Eastern Economic Review article in his book Dogs and Demons: The Fall of Modern Japan, which I shall reproduce for you here: "[in 1992] an NHK documentary on harsh living conditions in the Tibetan Himalayas featured a sand avalanche, footage of a monk praying for an end to a three-month dry spell, and an explanation that his horse had died of thirst. NHK later admitted that a crew member had deliberately caused the avalanche; it had rained twice during the filming; and the monk, whom it paid, did not own the dead horse." ("An NHK Documentary": Sebastian Moffett, "Slipping Standards, FEER, 25 April 1996.
全く嘘じゃない？アレックス・カーという作家が「犬と鬼―知られざる日本の肖像」 で「遠亜経済検討雑誌」でいい引用を使った。「（１９９２年に）チベットのヒマラヤ山の厳しい生活についての記録番組（ドキュメンタリ）が砂の滑落、３ヶ 月ぐらい雨が降らななかったので坊さんが祈っている、そして水がなかったから坊さんの馬が死んだのを見せた。後で、ＮＨＫが職員達がわざと滑落をした、記 録中で雨が二回降った、そしてＮＨＫが金で援助した坊さんは死んでいる馬の持ち主じゃなかった。」（”ＮＨＫの記録番組”：セバスチャン・モフェット、” 落ちる基準”、遠亜経済検討雑誌、１９９６年４月２５日）

I'm not going to miss it.
朕がテレビを見なくても別にいい。