羽之助の帝紀

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Here Comes Santa Claus サンタさんが来る

I was at my last school for the season the other day and they decided to have an entirely Christmas-themed lesson. To that end, they requested that I dress as Santa Claus. Now, I can get along with this. I shoved my sweater inside the red jacket thingy to give myself an added layer of fat. Oh yeah, I got the results of my medical exam back. The prognosis: perfect health except for one thing: fat! Height of 181 cm and a weighing in at 85kg. But I just need to lose 5kg to be considered 'normal' so not too bad!
先日はこの季節の最後の学校に居て、クリスマスの題で教えようと決まった。それで、朕がサンタ さんの仮装を着てと求めた。喜んで同意した。もっと太くなる 為にセーターを赤いコートに入れた。あ、違う話題だけど、健康結果をもらった。完全完璧健康だけど・・・太い!181の身長だが体重は85キロ・・・ま、 5キロだけ減ったら「普通」になるのでそんなに良くないね!

Anyway I walk into the classroom as Santa, and the first thing that happens is ... a kid jumps out of his chair and tries to kancho me! Good God, what is this world coming to when Japanese kids try to kancho Santa? Is it really necessary to impart to these kids the lesson that you should not inflict bodily harm on the guy who is bringing you presents? I told the teacher but she just got a half-embarrassed look on her face and said nothing.
サンタさんの 仮装で教室に入って最初に起こったことは・・・或る子供が椅子から飛んで朕をカンチョーしてみた。サンタをカンチョーしてみる?地球の子供達 がこんなに悪くなった?贈り物を無料で持ってきて出してあげる人を犯すなって教えるのは本当に必要ある???先生に教えたけどただ半分恥ずかしい顔をして 何も言わなかった・・・

While waiting for lunch, I told one teacher in the staff room what had happened and she got this shocked look on her face, like "Not only do you know what a kancho is but it's actually been done to you and it happens regularly to ALT's? My God!"
昼ごはんを待っている間に職員室でカンチョーの事を一人の先生に教えた。「カンチョーの事を知っているの上にあなたはされた事あるしよく外国語指導助手に起こると言っているんですか?嘘でしょう!」の顔をした。

So a normal reaction. で、普通の反射。

I also took some really silly pictures of myself with my phone. Please see below.
携帯でとってもあんぽんたんな写真を撮った。どうぞご覧。






Right, enough of that. よし、もう止めようね(へへ)。


The kids were making curry for lunch and I was lucky enough to be invited to eat with them.
今日の生徒達がカレーの昼ごはんを作って朕を招待してくれた。

I asked this kid to make a 'show me the deliciousness of the food' face and this was the result.
この子供に「カレーの美味しさを見せる顔をして」と言ってこの結果になった。

At the end of the classes in the morning the kids all gave me Christmas cards! Aww! Some kids REALLY put a lot of work into the cards. Check out the decorations glued to this one! I'm going to have to make a big certificate for each of the classes that made these for me.
朝の授業が終わってから生徒の皆が朕にクリスマス片をくれた!この片の飾り物を見て!授業の生徒達の為に大きな賞状みたいな看板を作らなくちゃと思う。

During the afternoon I had THREE classes at once, but the teachers all came along too, so thankfully we had some discipline control. My favourite teacher in the school, whom I have dubbed Mr. Lynch, regularly yells at them and is not afraid to dish out the discipline. I love the guy! I showed The Matrix Christmas video to them all too and they went nuts with laughter - except when the Grinch showed up they all said 'Yay! It's Hard Gay!'. That makes absolutely no sense.
午後は同時に三つの授業が入ったけど先生達も来てくれたので少し規律の支配ができた。朕の好きな先生も来た。彼はよく生徒に叫ぶしよく規律も出すので大好きだ!メイトリックス・クリスマス(マトリックスじゃない!カタカナの一番近い発音はメイトリックスだよ!)のビデオも見せて皆が笑いで狂っていた・・・・けど、ザ・グリンチが出る時に皆が「あはは、ハードゲイだ!」。生徒達の皆の頭は腐っているかな?

During the all-out chaos English activity (I mean there were like 90 kids in the room), one teacher (young, female, does not appear to be a disciplinarian) was attempted-kancho'ed by one of the Bad Kids. I should have picked him up and hauled his ass to the principal's office, but showing more restraint than I did last time, I simply told the teacher afterwards.
完全混乱の英語活動(教室で90人の生徒が居たよ!)で一人の先生(若い、女子、規律を使わなさそう)の尻に一人の悪童がカンチョーしてみた。彼を尻か運んで校長室に持って行くべきだったかもしれないけど、前の事件より抑制してただ後で先生に教えた。

"Oh yes," she sighed, "he's a wild boy". 
「そうだね・・・彼、本当に狂っている男子だよ」(会話は英語だった)

Don't give up!
先生、諦めないで!

2 Comments 論評:

  • You have my utmost sympathy about the Kancho-addicted-kids!
    I'm starting to think though... that you dont look like Prof. Burton anymore... but your camera phone pictures make you look a bit like Brendan Fraser.
    Was the curry good?

    By Anonymous Jenna, at 12/24/2005 3:01 AM  

  • It's not the first time I've been told that.

    For the Burton look, I'll have to post a picture of me in my black button jacket.

    The curry was OK. I find that the reason a lot of Japanese food is served cold is that by the time everyone stops arguing over who spilled what into the pot everything has reached room temperature.

    By Blogger 羽之助, at 12/24/2005 5:44 AM  

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