Fun Times on Messenger/IRC英語のみ；勉強しなさい！

This happened when I logged on IRC for the first time in decades. Apparently I couldn't type the /nick command correctly.

* Your nick is now Hane-no-suke
-
* Your nick is now Hanenosuke
-
whatever you Erroneous Nickname
-
* Your nick is now whateveryouwant
-
HANENOSUKE Unknown command
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And this is the record of a horrible chat I was having with Kayumi/Madmartigan.

羽之助 - Whatever, you erroneous nickname! says:
ahaha 賢
Dark Schneider - Whatever, you erroneous nickname! says:
I can't see that.
Dark Schneider :It looks like a big black blob
羽之助: someone who is a slave to his crotch is about as INTELLIGENT as a shellfish.
羽之助: this is the original character for 'intelligent'
羽之助: but it carries another meaning as 'rock hard'
羽之助: so my mnemonic of "crotch-slave" still stands
羽之助: except that slave should really be minister (its true original meaning is downcast eyes), so I could have a Ministry of Crotches
Dark Schneider: Except it's only "slave" as a radical/primitive, where it can also/still be used as retainer, as well.
羽之助: Yeah. I just wish Heisig would keep the same meaning for everything.
Dark Schneider - ::you can pretty much dismiss what he uses as the meanings for the radicals if you like.
Dark Schneider: FOR EXAMPLE
Dark Schneider: he lists "Rice" as meaning USA as well in radical-form
Dark Schneider: And the only place I've seen that used in the book was in Astray
Dark Schneider: (rice, road)
Dark Schneider: where I have NO idea how to use USA
Dark Schneider: but I can use rice to say "leave a trail of rice so you won't go astray"
羽之助:Following the road of the USA will lead you astray.
Dark Schneider: mine's better
Dark Schneider: or for edge
Dark Schneider: I prefer "stand on the mountain's EDGE and it'll be so windy you need to comb your hair"
羽之助:端？
Dark Schneider: no
羽之助:it is so!
Dark Schneider: ...good christ I hate this font size
Dark Schneider: that does NOT look ANYTHING like that.
羽之助: hahaha
Dark Schneider: Seriously
Dark Schneider: What font size are you using?
羽之助: Mine is a ... 12.
Dark Schneider: Wow, even at 12 it's legible.
羽之助:12 is all you need. Unless your montior resolution is set to supershrunk
Dark Schneider: It kind of is.
Dark Schneider: 12 is retarded-big looking though
羽之助: then go for 11 or 10.5
羽之助: IF IT MAKES YOUUUU HAPPPYYYYYY
Dark Schneider: She's got breast cancer. That's Sheryl Crow, right?
羽之助: Does she?
羽之助: Yes.
羽之助: Huh. Too bad.
Dark Schneider: Yeah, announced today.
Dark Schneider: I wonder if it makes her happyyyyyyyyyy.
Dark Schneider: I guess she's finding that every day is a winding road.